Fading Fears, increasing joy

When I asked my husband what his greatest fear was he did not hesitate with his answer; “Losing you during child birth.” This was a long developing fear, possibly even a fear of fatherhood itself.
My husband is a guarded man, but when he lets you in, there is nothing he wouldn’t do for you. I have seen this more now that he is a dad. Our pregnancy was a normal, healthy pregnancy through week 32, when I developed preeclampsia and was given bed rest. At week 34 I developed HELLP syndrome, sending me to the hospital. Death during childbirth was now a possibility.
My husband had cancer when he was in first grade and developed a very real fear of hospitals. Now he was going to have to be at a hospital everyday for two weeks. He can’t handle a routine check-up, how was he going to deal with a high risk delivery?
As soon as Reese was born, he rushed to her. He was at her side as soon as she was out of me. He went with her to the NICU, stayed there as she was hooked up to all the machines and he did not pass out. He was there for his little girl. It amazed me to watch him as he slept in my hospital room, walked through the ER each day to visit our tiny girl, carefully held her with all of her leads attached to her, and helped me to learn how to mother Reese through her isolette.
My husband was the one who took care of Reese those first critical days when I couldn’t be there. His care for Reese has changed over the months as her needs have changed. He was the one up with her every night from 10 to 2am. He said I had her all day and needed this break, even though he worked all day and also needed the break. When Reese hit the “cry it out” phase, he was the one who slept in the guest room next to Reese and literally got up every 20 minutes to reassure her. My husband is the one who swoops in to entertain Reese during the “witching hours” that time between afternoon nap and bed time. He comes up with new cute games to play and makes Reese belly laugh even though she is so tired. My husband created Saturday morning time, where he takes Reese for the morning and I can go off and not be a mommy for a while. What makes this remarkable is that he is a real estate agent, and weekends are supposed to be prime time. Not for him. My husband spends creative time working with clients while still putting his family first. There is nothing that he would not do for her, for me, for his family. No fear is great enough to stop this man, for he has already faced his biggest fear and won!